Brynn Hambley (she/they) is a queer and disabled playwright, theatre/devising artist, and theatre educator. She earned her BA in Theatre Arts from Gettysburg College and her MFA in Theatre from Sarah Lawrence College. Her work is ephemeral and speculative, focusing on the stories of queer and disabled people across time with an emphasis on the resilience of the human spirit. Some credits include: Winner of Best in Fest, Planet Female Storyfest 2025 (Taking the D Train); Semi-Finalist for the Epiphanies Festival 2025 (PIETA); Finalist for the New Roots Residency 2025; Winner of the Benson Disability Plays 2024 (House Call); Semi-Finalist for the O'Neill National Playwright's Conference 2024 (PIETA), and more. Emerging Writers Group 25-27, The Public Theater. 

Washroom

In a totalitarian future, Meryl is arrested in a public bathroom for not standing at attention to the anthem. She and the arresting officer have a volatile and, at times vulnerable discussion about life under the regime.

Characters:.

Officer Reynolds – 18-25, woman; white or white-passing

Meryl – forties to sixties, woman/femme NB/trans woman; any race

Setting:

The restroom of a very fancy and large regional theatre in the near future. America.

Notes:

This piece is inspired by Robert Watts’ fluxus piece of the same name.

Meryl can be played by anybody who identifies as a woman or femme. Meryl being NB or trans would provide a new lens and more nuance to the piece, which if chosen as an option would best be addressed by a queer director.

The same goes if Meryl is a person of color– in the playwright’s opinion, if Meryl is a person of color, the director should be as well to address the nuances this would bring to the work.

A “/” indicates that the next line interrupts or overlaps the current one.

The restroom of an elegant theatre. The stalls face the audience, and there are a few sinks on SR. Warm lighting and fastidious, fancy decor.

An officer wearing a uniform vaguely reminiscent of both ICE and the gestapo, OFFICER REYNOLDS, stands at attention at the exit, USL. She is stern looking, serious, her uniform expertly pressed– an attempt to cover how young she is.

A bombastic version of the American national anthem begins to play on the speakers. REYNOLDS somehow stands even more at attention, unblinking.

Then– we hear a toilet flushing, and MERYL steps out of a stall. She is an older woman, or at least she is older than REYNOLDS, and she holds herself well. She calmly steps over to the sink to wash her hands as REYNOLDS approaches her.

REYNOLDS
You can’t do that.

MERYL
…wash my hands? I just / used the–

REYNOLDS
You must stand at attention during the anthem.

MERYL
…even in the bathroom?

REYNOLDS
Wherever you are, ma’am. It’s the law.

A beat.

MERYL
I’m going to wash my hands first, thanks.

MERYL goes to do so. REYNOLDS steps in front of her.

REYNOLDS
Ma’am, I must insist. I don’t want to detain you.

MERYL
Detain me? Seriously?

REYNOLDS stares at her silently.

MERYL
This is ridiculous.

She takes out a small bottle of hand sanitizer from her purse.

REYNOLDS
Ma’am, I won’t warn you again. You are supposed to stand at silent attention. The anthem is almost over.

MERYL
So I have to stand here with piss on my hands?

REYNOLDS
Yes, ma’am. Until it’s over.

MERYL
Will you please stop calling me ma’am? Dear god, I’m not that old.

REYNOLDS
Stand at attention silently, ma’am.

A silent power struggle. We can tell this is not the first time MERYL has dealt with a situation like this. Somewhere along the way, she decides this is the last fucking straw.

MERYL
No. I will wash my fucking hands because I’m a human being, not a nationalist robot.

MERYL steps forward and turns on the sink. A physical struggle with REYNOLDS. The anthem ends.

REYNOLDS
Ma’am, I’m detaining you formally for violating the thirtieth amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America–

MERYL
It’s over now, it’s fucking over, let me go–!

Further struggle.

REYNOLDS
You must come with me now or I am authorized to use force!

MERYL
You’re already using force, goddammit!

REYNOLDS gets her in cuffs. MERYL is vibrating with fury.

REYNOLDS
Taking the Lord’s name in vain is a violation of section 612 of the MAMA Act of 2027.

MERYL
Fuck you.

MERYL spits at REYNOLD’s feet.

MERYL
“Make America Moral Again” my ass.

REYNOLDS
Careful, you’re already down for assaulting an officer.

MERYL
You assaulted me!

REYNOLDS ignores MERYL and unclips a device from her belt. It is small and sleek, all black. She presses a button and speaks into it.

REYNOLDS
I have a detainee here in the women's bathroom in the mezzanine. Combative, got her down for violating thirty, MAMA, and assaulting an officer. Back-up requested for transfer.

There is no answer. REYNOLDS waits a moment before clipping the device back to her belt.

MERYL
So, what? Now we just wait here?

REYNOLDS
I need my supervisor to sign off on the transfer.

MERYL
Transfer of me where?

Silence.

MERYL
Where do you think they’ll send me? Guantanamo Bay? El Salvador?

Or one of those domestic ones in Kansas? Maybe Montana? Alcatraz?

REYNOLDS is silent.

MERYL
You think we don’t know what goes on there? That stories don’t leak out of those walls?

Everyone knows. The experiments. The torture. The starvation.

It’s pure Nazism. You’re a Nazi. I hope you know that.

REYNOLDS
I hope they send you to fucking Gitmo.

MERYL
Yeah, send me to Gitmo for washing my fucking hands. Perfect.

REYNOLDS
I don’t know how you people can be so deluded.

MERYL
Every day you put on that uniform and terrorize innocent people for existing in a way you don’t like. Don’t talk to me about delusion!

Silence. REYNOLDS is completely done with MERYL at this point. She walks as far away from her as she can get.

The silence lasts a while. Both women are coming down from an enormous amount of rage.

The sounds of an opening overture in the distance. The play has begun.

MERYL
Guess I’m going to miss the opening number.

What’s your name, Officer?

REYNOLDS
…Officer Reynolds.

MERYL
How old are you, Officer Reynolds?

REYNOLDS
That’s not relevant.

MERYL
It’s just– you look about my daughter’s age. She’s nineteen. A perfect little Spring baby, March 2009. She’s my only kid.

REYNOLDS ignores this obvious plea for empathy.

MERYL
She wanted to go to college for engineering.

Of course, by the time she could’ve applied, she wasn’t allowed. For engineering, at least.

I don’t really know what to do for her. She doesn’t want the meaningless home management degree, and she doesn’t want to teach either. And she definitely doesn’t want to be you.

She’s sitting out there right now, actually. Waiting for me. With her dad.

REYNOLDS
An officer should inform them of the situation upon your transfer.

MERYL
The key word there, Officer, is should.

Does your mother know where you are? What you’re doing?

REYNOLDS
That’s none of your business.

Beat.

MERYL
When did you join?

REYNOLDS
Right out of high school.

MERYL
Because you wanted to? Or because of something else?

REYNOLDS
Obviously because I’m a patriot and I want to serve my country.

MERYL
…right. And not due to a lack of other options?

Beat.

REYNOLDS
They’ll be here any moment now.

MERYL
And what will they do to me then?

REYNOLDS
They’ll take you to the local office and hold you for transfer.

MERYL
And how will they decide where to transfer me, Officer Reynolds?

REYNOLDS
…that’s above my pay grade..

MERYL
So how do you know that their system is justified?

REYNOLDS
Because it was instituted by the President.

MERYL
And so it is automatically moral?

REYNOLDS
Of course.

MERYL
But what about human error?

REYNOLDS
There are things put in place to check that.

MERYL
But how do you know that if it’s “above your pay grade,” Officer?

REYNOLDS
I just do, okay?

Beat.

MERYL
How often do you arrest people in public bathrooms?

REYNOLDS
Jeez lady, do you ever shut up?

MERYL
No, not really. One of my many faults.

REYNOLDS
A few a week. Mostly for violations of thirty.

MERYL
So it’s a trap.

REYNOLDS
…what?

MERYL
It’s a trap. You don’t convey to people the extent of the law, and then you post someone in a place where people may assume the law does not apply, and catch them breaking it.

(Stars Wars reference) “It’s a trap!”

REYNOLDS
I– it’s not. No. People just need a reminder to be vigilant, stand-up citizens at all times. It’s for their protection. Their own good.

MERYL
Me being arrested for washing my hands instead of standing at attention to the anthem is for my own protection?

From what?

REYNOLDS
People need to know the value of respect!

MERYL
That doesn’t answer my question.

REYNOLDS
You are so annoying! I don’t have to listen to you.

REYNOLDS puts distance once more between herself and MERYL.

MERYL
I get it. This isn’t exactly weird for you– the beginning of it all took root in the year or two after you were born. It isn’t far-fetched for you to think it’s right.

REYNOLDS
It’s what I know is right.

MERYL
I have diabetes, you know. Type one.

Beat.

MERYL
You know they won’t waste insulin on me in those places.

You’re killing me, right now. I am already dead.

REYNOLDS
That’s– no. They don’t kill people. Not unless they commit really specific, heinous crimes. Treason. Pedophilia.

MERYL
And they won’t kill me. They’ll let me die.

To them, that’s a big enough gap. A good enough difference.

REYNOLDS
The centers are for punishment and reform. Not– not that.

MERYL
Honey. Who told you that?

REYNOLDS
No, no who told you that they aren’t caring for non violent offenders?

MERYL
Like I said. Stories leak. And we’re not stupid. Most of us see the writing on the wall.

My brother and his husband escaped to Scotland four years ago. We should’ve gone with them..

REYNOLDS
You’re being ridiculous. Alarmist.

MERYL
I take it they’ve never stationed you at one of those places, have they? I doubt they station their few female officers there, ever. They need them to monitor bathrooms and all-girls schools and birthing wards. Right?

You said you joined right after high school. How long ago was that?

REYNOLDS is silent. Her communication device beeps. She looks at it.

REYNOLDS
My supervisor is waiting for us outside.

Beat.

MERYL
Well then, Officer Reynolds. Take me away.

MERYL’s blood sugar monitor beeps. She looks down at it, and then back up at REYNOLDS.

They stare at each other.

Blackout.

END OF PLAY